The insights and experiences I have gained over the years have shaped who I am today, however I can’t help but wonder how different my path might have been had I known what I know now. The challenges that seemed unconquerable at 20 years old, could have been more manageable and less stressful, with the perspective and understanding I have today. Here’s a list of all the lessons I have learned, which now helps me navigate the complexities of life with more confidence and clarity.
22 July 2024
No one has it all figured out.
When I was younger I would often look at friends and possibly even strangers, and think that they must have their life completely figured out. Which was probably never the case. I was never envious of the path others took, however, I would spend time reflecting and beating myself up on all the things I need to achieve. The truth is everyone’s life is going at different paces, some people are married with children, and some people are perusing new careers and travelling the world. We’re all making mistakes and changing directions. As I grew older, I have learned to embrace the unknown, take risks and enjoy the journey of my path.
2. Always trust your gut instinct, the first time.
All the times I have not trusted my gut instinct, I can wholeheartedly admit that I regretted it. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Your intuition is a powerful tool, and chances are will always be right because nobody knows you more than your own body.
3. You cannot control, what is out of your control.
The best example I can provide for this statement is all the times I was unintentionally late for events or appointments. I would spend the majority of the journey sweating and stressing that despite leaving my home early and getting ready at the crack of dawn, I simply cannot control traffic and delays. I soon learned to understand that these inconveniences are bound to happen, and providing a genuine apology and an estimated time arrival is sufficient.
4. Mind your business.
I feel criminal to admit this, but my parents always raised my brothers and I with the ‘I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything’ mindset, which I’m certain they implemented so we were not involved in any playground fights. It’s human nature to want to gossip and relate with other people, whether you’re out with your friends discussing the mishaps of someone you’re not fond of, or you’re catching up with your parents about your dad’s side of the family. Other people’s business, should never be your own and always direct your energy towards yourself.
5. Do more of what makes you happy.
I spent majority of my life living to impress my parents. I was what you call ‘goody two shoes’, which I was very proud of. I liked knowing that I was doing what my parents wanted me to do, and became who they expected me to become - I was the golden child. I took the courses that my parents recommended and picked up little hobbies they admired, only to feel empty. As I matured and grew older, I started to prioritize my own happiness. I started discovering my own passions, values and purpose despite what others thoughts and said.
6. Take care of your health.
This one is still a working progress. Taking care of your health is one of the most fundamental investments you can make for yourself. Your physical and mental well-being are the foundation for everything else in your life. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, sufficient sleep and mindfulness are not ‘self-care’ or ‘routine’, these are things you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. By caring for your body and mind, you enhance your ability to enjoy life, reduce risk of illnesses and increase your quality of life. You only have one body and one mind, nurture them.
7. Surround yourself with people who understand you.
I’m going to try and keep this one short. Although I am an avid people-pleaser, a quality I love about myself is that I have zero tolerance to people who disrespect or make me feel insignificant. However, not everyone in your life is going to be toxic, some friendships you’ll simply out-grow and that’s okay! Embrace the freedom that comes with releasing toxic ties or letting dead-end friendships go. You need to create space and energy for healthier and supportive connections that uplift and inspire you.
8. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped.
It does not matter how much you care or how hard you try, if someone does not want your help. Without the need to change from the person in need, your efforts will become fruitless and emotionally draining. You need to understand that they must be ready to seek help and make changes on their own terms. While you can offer support and encouragement, a true progress comes from within.
9. Your competition should only be yourself.
Competing with nobody but yourself creates a sense of self-discipline, and recognising that true satisfaction comes from knowing you have given your best effort for yourself, and not anyone else. I have come to learn that by focusing on your own progress and celebrating your individual milestones, I have created a deeper connection with who I am and what I am capable of achieving. In a personal competition, I am both the competitor and the champion.