When Passion Turns into Pressure.
9 October 2024
The passion I put into everything I did fuelled my sense of purpose and fulfilment, whether it was in my nursing career, creating content, or even running errands. Being passionate always made things feel effortless—that’s probably why an 8-hour shift feels like an eternity, but playing games online flies by in an hour. I’ve always managed to maintain my enthusiasm and motivation through daily to-do lists, late-night whiteboard planning sessions, and journaling my thoughts after every minor inconvenience. But lately, it feels like I've lost my sense of direction. The reason why I feel so drained is the pressure and expectations I’ve been placing on myself, balancing long hours between my full-time job and streaming, constantly focusing on perfecting every detail and spreading myself too thin. I was pushing myself to do more than I could handle, all while convincing myself there was nothing I couldn’t do.
Fast forward to today, and I find myself trapped in a cycle of overthinking everything I need to get done. My mind is constantly racing with tasks: editing clips, vlogging for YouTube, requesting my annual leave for December, making calls for my mother, replying to emails, booking a grooming session for my cat, meeting up with friends, scheduling a GP appointment, calling my brother, streaming on Twitch, reaching out to companies, posting on Instagram, messaging my manager—the list feels endless. Even though I know exactly what needs to be done, I can’t shake this overwhelming sense of being lost. I used to thrive on being busy, I even enjoyed being a ‘workaholic’, but now I am struggling to find balance between pushing myself to achieve and allowing myself to slow down. The passion that once fuelled me has turned into a source of pressure.
For a long time, I’ve struggled with Imposter Syndrome — a psychological phenomenon where, despite one’s achievements and abilities, there’s a constant feeling of not being worthy of your successes. I’m not sure if that’s stemmed from my upbringing or my personality of needing to be a perfectionist, but no matter how many hours or effort I pour into a task, there’s always this lingering thought that it’s not good enough, and that I should be working harder. Recently, I’ve found myself over-committing to work-related activities, constantly taking on more tasks, and feeling guilty whenever I have downtime. Take streaming on Twitch for example — I love it, and cherish all the people I have met along the way, but I always feel the need to outdo myself week after week, provide better content and keep my community entertained. Recently, I’ve begun to feel dissatisfied with the content I’ve been producing. It started to feel repetitive and common, and streaming the same game every night became more of a source of pressure than a passion. While no one was forcing me to stick to this routine, I was constantly hearing from successful content creators that I shouldn’t stray from the game I began with; it’s what attracted my audience in the first place.
If you’re reading this because you feel lost — whether you’re uncertain about what to study at university, contemplating a career change, or simply lacking motivation to complete a to-do list — I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. Instead of getting overwhelmed with these emotions, it’s important to recognise and accept what once sparked your passion may have transformed into pressure. By acknowledging how you are feeling with without surrendering to the feeling, you take a meaningful step toward restoring balance in your life. This involves setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and reconnecting with your passions. Here are a list of thing you and I can do to keep ourselves passionate and motivated.
Set Clear and Realist Goals.
I often push myself to go above and beyond when setting goals, aiming to get things done quickly. However, I used to feel disappointed and deflated when I couldn’t check everything off my list by the end of the day. Moving forward, I’ll focus on creating clear and realistic goals that will help me avoid overcommitting, to stay focused, and track my progress more effectively.
Surround Yourself with People Who Inspire You.
Engaging in meaningful conversations with like-minded people can leave you feeling inspired and motivated to grow, both personally and professionally. These interactions foster a sense of upliftment and encourage positive development in various areas of your life. Distance yourself from individuals who bring negativity or drain your energy, and spend time with people who challenge you. I stopped giving my time to friends who always asked me ‘‘what’s the point?’’ of mundane hobbies, like knitting or streaming, and starting connecting with people who inspired me to do better every day.
A Win is Still A Win.
Regardless of how big or small, a win is always still a win. No matter what the goal is, even if the process wasn’t perfect, the victory wasn’t as significant as you expected, you succeeded a great amount or just barely, the fact that you reached the finish line is worth celebrating. This mindset will encourage acknowledging progress and victories without diminishing them due to imperfections, reminding us that every achievement, no matter how it happens, deserves recognition.
Remain Organised and Self Reflect.
It is as simple as it sounds; create a structured plan/schedule to manage your tasks efficiently and regularly evaluate your progress to reassess your motivations. This will reduce stress and allow you to focus on what matters.
Stay Physically Active.
Maintaining mental health is crucial for staying motivated and passionate, but physical exercise plays an equally important role in supporting a healthy lifestyle and refreshing the mind. Recently, I restarted my health and wellness journey by going to the gym for the first time in months, and it was like a switch flipped inside me. I instantly felt more energized and motivated, and I managed to complete everything on my to-do list that day. Whether it’s hitting the gym, getting a massage, booking a facial or going on a ‘Hot Girl Walk’, these activities help keep both your body and mind active, energized and ready to take on the day.
Visualise the Success You Desire.
Create a clear mental image and visualise the specific outcomes you want to eventually achieve, whether it’s a job promotion, going to the gym, finding love, buying a car or streaming. Something I have done for years was create a vision board, where you use digital images and quotes which represent your goals - this helps reinforce your visualisations and remind you of where you want to be.
I want to be open about how I have been feeling lately. I haven’t quit streaming or given up on my goals; instead, I’m actively exploring new ways to reignite the passion that once fuelled my drive. I appreciate your support and patience, and look forward to connecting with you all again very soon.
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A little extra content for you — Here is my mood board from 2021 (where all the goals were achieved), and a mood board that I created today.
